Let Him Go
by Marorin5
Summary: I thought for sure I was straight. Until Shiota Nagisa-kun happened. Yuuji POV. Karma x Nagisa.


**Heeeeeey, guys! So, you thought I was done with poor Yuuji? Nope! I did say I was thinking to do a Karma x Nagisa with Yuuji as the unrequited lover, with Nagisa as a boy this time (since in the one I did before,** ** _Lounge Act_** **, Nagisa is a girl). Aaaaand here it is!**

 **I wrote it in first person, with Yuuji narrating, because Idk, I felt like it. XD It's been a very long time since I tried my hand writing a first person narrative. I think I did decent enough. :P**

 **Enjoy! :)**

* * *

I thought for sure I was straight.

Well, it's not like I had any reason to really _question_ it. I'd always liked girls. I'd always been interested in girls. When I went to parties, I didn't stare at the guys, I stared at the girls. I tried to charm the girls. So, yeah, I was pretty sure I wasn't gay—not that there's anything wrong with that. I just wasn't interested in guys.

Until Shiota Nagisa- _kun_ happened.

At the beginning, I thought he was a girl. I mean, he even had a skirt on! And he looked pretty girly, so it never really entered my mind that, hey, he was actually a dude.

But, anyway, Nagisa-kun—I called him Nagisa-chan back then, since I thought he was a she—entered to the hotel lounge that summer with a bunch of girls, and she—I'm sorry, _he—_ didn't seem really comfortable. It attracted me; someone who didn't seem to like that disgusting environment I had been a part of ever since I was young. The girls I'd come into that club with had long since abandoned me with some better looking guys, but to me, my night was looking up.

So we ended up having drinks together—even though he didn't really drink—and we talked. And as always, I used my old man's influence to try to charm her—well, _him—_ and that somehow ended up with us talking about being cool and him stopping me from doing drugs.

He left pretty soon, though. There was something sketchy going on—Nagisa-kun's friends weren't normal junior high school girls, and Nagisa-kun knew perfectly well what was happening—but I didn't know, and I didn't care. All I cared about were Nagisa-kun's kind words to me and _that smile_.

The most genuine smile I had ever seen ever.

I swear, I felt like as if Nagisa-kun had taken my heart with him after he'd smiled at me like that.

 _Is it that easy to fall in love?_

Motivated by Nagisa-kun's words, I stopped with the drugs, and I even started a food blog for the hell of it. I liked food, so it was a win-win for me. It was a nice, healthy hobby; it gave me something to do with my otherwise boring life.

And, of course, I looked for him. I didn't _want_ that to be the last time I saw Nagisa-kun. So I looked up his school, and I found out they were hosting this school festival, and to me, that was the perfect opportunity to see Nagisa-kun again.

And I did see him again. I learned a lot of things about him as well. The most relevant one for me was that, ah, well, he was a _guy_. I had had the impression he was a girl all that time until he told me the truth. I honestly did not expect that at all. It caught me completely off-guard, and I wasn't even sure what to think.

Nagisa-kun even had a skirt on again! Why would I even question it?

Still, he was cuter than most girls I know.

His words on how "weaknesses can be weapons" really inspired me, and I felt like such a dummy for complaining about my spoilt life. So I left; I went home and wrote in my blog about Nagisa-kun's class' restaurant. I wanted to help him. And, hey, the place was truly fantastic. I saw it on the news the next day, so I guess my blog did help. I'm glad it did.

I thought the feelings I harbored for Nagisa-kun—whom I believed was a girl—would go away after I learned the truth. But as it turned out, they didn't. A year later and I still remembered him with the same fondness I did back then.

So I guess I was bi and not straight, then.

The thing is, I didn't know much about Nagisa-kun. In March, it was revealed the truth about Nagisa-kun's class—about the monster that was their teacher—and I was just as shocked as everyone else. But perhaps even more so, because I saw Nagisa-kun, and I saw his classmates, and they didn't seem to be any victims of anyone.

It did explain to an extent what happened in that hotel lounge, anyway.

There was this ceremony in which the students of that class returned most of the prize money back to the government. They thanked the government for their support, particularly their teachers, and then proceeded to claim they were no one's victims and asked to please be treated as anyone else would be. The man who represented the government and also happened to be their teacher agreed wholeheartedly with them. After that, there were no more news about the "assassination classroom". Maybe some people who were still speculating (after all, there wasn't much information given), but everyone seemed to move on; after all, the students did, and they were the ones affected.

I had absolutely no idea where Nagisa-kun could be. What were the chances of me seeing him again anyway? He probably forgot about me. He probably didn't remember me, and I couldn't've even blamed him. And did he even like guys? I had no idea. So I just kept my feelings to myself, and cherished the few moments I spent with Nagisa-kun, even if they might've been meaningless to him.

* * *

"...Have I seen you somewhere before?"

I turned my head to look at the blond teenager working behind the counter—Muramatsu-kun, was it?—and tried to remember if I'd ever seen him before. He seemed to be my age. Maybe at some party? I didn't know. He honestly didn't ring any bells.

"Um, no, I don't think so," I shrugged, turning to the ramen plate I was eating. I came here since someone recommended it on my blog. Honestly, their ramen wasn't the best. And Muramatsu-kun seemed to think so, too. He told me he'd been fighting with his dad about it ever since junior high, and then let me taste the ramen recipe he thought would sell better. I honestly agreed with him. If Muramatsu-kun took over this shop, then it surely would do much better.

"Yo, Muramatsu," a voice greeted from the entrance of the shop, and I turned my head to see a boy my age with white hair and yellow eyes.

"Oh, hey, Itona!" Muramatsu-kun greeted happily. "Came here for free lunch, didn't you?"

"Of course," he nodded, taking a sit next to me. Whoever this Itona-kun was, he seemed to be good friends with Muramatsu-kun. The two of them began talking amicably, mentioning what seemed to be a class reunion and common friends. Something about a guy named Terasaka-kun—whom Itona-kun referred to as idiot, apparently—and something about _karma_ , and... hey, did they mention a Nagisa-kun?

As I was eating—and listening in to their conversation, admittedly: the shop wasn't that big and they were right beside me—I felt a pair of eyes staring at me. The white-haired guy was looking at me, and his gaze was starting to make me uncomfortable.

"Hey," he said to me flatly. "You seem familiar. Have I seen you somewhere before?"

"See!" Muramatsu-kun exclaimed. "I knew I wasn't just imagining stuff! I do know you from somewhere."

"I honestly don't know," I said, giving a shrug.

"...Now I remember," Itona-kun said after a pause. "You're that guy that wrote the blog entry on our class last year. You know, about Class 3-E's cafe at Kunugigaoka's festival?"

My eyes widened.

"Yeah, that's it!" Muramatsu-kun snapped his fingers as a victorious grin formed in his face. "You really helped us back then, you know? We wouldn't have earned the amount of money we did if it hadn't been for you."

My mind was racing. They were former students of Class 3-E? That meant... they were former classmates of Nagisa-kun?!

"Still didn't beat the A Class though," Itona-kun commented as I tried to get my head together.

"That's because we ran out of ingredients!" Muramatsu-kun let out a laugh. "I really did want to win though."

"U-Um..." I was finally able to speak again and I was stuttering. Great. I swallowed as both pair of eyes landed on me. My cheeks reddened as I spoke. "If you guys were in the E Class, t-then... Do you know... where I could find Shiota Nagisa-kun?"

"Nagisa?" Muramatsu-kun shared a knowing look with Itona-kun and I wanted to die. Could it be that they knew about my feelings for him? "Well, I don't know what he's up to right now. He might be busy. But I guess I could give you his phone number if you really want to talk to him?"

Those words brightened up my day and I hoped I didn't seem like such a freak for getting so excited over one phone number. "Yes! I-If it's no problem."

"Nah," Muramatsu-kun shrugged. "Knowing Nagisa, he probably wants to thank you for what you did back then."

* * *

I stared at my phone for the longest time.

Now that I had Nagisa-kun's number, I wasn't really sure what to do. Should I call him? Or would that be too extra? After all, a very long time had passed. Maybe text him? Like, text him telling him who he was, and... what? That he wanted to see him again, hang out? What was he supposed to say?!

Eventually, after many hours of pondering, he decided to go with the following:

 _Hey, Nagisa-kun! It's me, Yuuji. How have you been? I happened to go to your friend, Muramatsu-kun's, ramen shop and he gave me your number. I just feel like the last time we saw each other was too abrupt and all, so I figured that maybe we could hang out? If you want to, of course. I hope you answer me soon!_

I pressed the 'send' button and sighed, anxiety making itself known. How was Nagisa-kun gonna react to my text? Would he say yes? Would he even believe it's me?

His reply came by only a few minutes later, but to me, it may as well have been an eternity. I scrambled to get my phone, opening the message.

 _Hi, Yuuji-kun! I did not expect to receive a message from you. I've been good, thank you. And as for hanging out; yeah, sure, why not? :) Maybe we could go somewhere to eat? You know good places, right?_

My heart was beating too fast, and a warm feeling invaded my entire body, my cheeks reddening. I don't know why I blush so much, but it's embarrassing. Still, my happiness reached whole new levels once I read the text, and I couldn't stop grinning as I typed back.

 _Yeah! I do know a cafe near your junior high school. It's pretty good! Are you free on Saturday?_

My heart didn't calm down at all, especially not after Nagisa-kun replied.

 _Yeah, I am! Sounds like a plan to me, then! Where exactly is this cafe and at what time do we go?_

I quickly replied to his last text—was I replying back too fast?—sending the direction and suggesting to go at 4 PM. A minute or two later, he sent an affirmative response.

So.

Seemed like I had a date then. Well, not a _date._ Although... I would like it to be one. I don't even know if he likes guys, though... But hey, what mattered was that I was gonna see him again. Whether or not we could have a date in the future depended on how it goes that Saturday, and I was determined to make it the best evening possible.

* * *

I waited at the cafe I told Nagisa-kun about, hating how I was feeling—like a schoolgirl with a crush, fawning over every little thing. Jeez, how did I end up like this? I can't even deny that I spent the last three hours before coming here panicking on what I could wear.

Exactly like a schoolgirl with a crush.

"Hey, Yuuji-kun!" And the whole world seemed to stop as Nagisa-kun came into view and walked up to me, a smile on his face. He hadn't grown in the year I hadn't seen him; he looked just like he did back then, and the memories rushed through my mind. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Were you here for long?"

"Uh, n-no," I stammered out, my cheeks flaming instantly. Shit. I must be so obvious!

Nagisa-kun didn't seem to notice, though, as he suggested to go inside and find a table. I could only nod numbly, following him and screaming mentally to myself to _ACT NORMAL._

I'd forgotten how easy it was for me to talk to Nagisa-kun. At first it was awkward, but then we both lightened up and we began to talk like if we were old friends. And I was happy. And he seemed to enjoy himself too, laughing and smiling.

Damn, I love his smile so much.

"I didn't think you'd like superhero comics so much, Nagisa-kun," I commented, coaxing a laugh out of him.

"What? I love them! How come you thought that?"

"I don't know. It just never entered my mind. You don't look like the type."

"What is the type though? Although, yeah, I get it. I thought the same when I found out Karma liked superhero movies as well."

I paused. "...Karma?"

"Yeah!" Nagisa-kun smiled fondly, then paused. "Wait, let me guess, you thought I was talking about the karma concept?" I couldn't help but nod. He laughed. "No, no, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about Karma. Akabane Karma. He's a person. That's his actual name."

 _What kind of name is that?!_ I screamed in my mind. "Oh... So, um, is this Akabane-kun," at least his family name was normal, "a friend of yours?"

Suddenly, Nagisa-kun's cheeks set ablaze and I couldn't help but have a bad feeling in my stomach.

"U-Um, well, no... I mean, we stopped being friends a long time ago..."

I didn't like where this was going. "Oh, I'm so sorry."

"No. You don't get it. We're not friends anymore because we're," he paused, his cheeks got even redder and I couldn't help but think he was the cutest thing in this planet, "...dating."

And just like that, it seemed like my hopes and dreams were destroyed right in front of my eyes, my heart squeezing painfully. Of course. He had to be taken. I was so concerned on whether or not he liked guys and it seemed like it didn't matter anyway 'cause he was taken either way.

"O-Oh," I said finally, trying to conceal my breaking heart. "That's great."

Nagisa-kun had a soft genuine smile on his face that adorned his red cheeks and I couldn't help but wish it was for me. "Yeah, I didn't... think it would happen, you know? I mean, I'd liked Karma for quite some time but it'd never entered my mind that he, well, liked me back. He's always been unpredictable so... but that's what makes him, well, Karma, you know?"

I just nodded along, feeling hopeless and sad. Whoever this Akabane Karma-kun was, he'd better know how lucky he was.

"Speaking of Karma, he and I are going to comic con next week. You could come along, too, if you want. Then you'll get to meet him!"

I stared at Nagisa-kun's honest smile, and I had already answered before my brain even caught up to what I was saying. "Sure."

Alarms went off inside my head as I realized just what I was agreeing to. If I went with them, I would have to stand being with them while knowing they were a couple and I had no business there. Talk about thirdwheeling. But then I saw Nagisa-kun's smile, and I wasn't able to say no. Damn that smile. Nagisa-kun could probably get me to do whatever he wanted me to as long as he smiled to me like that.

* * *

I was waiting at the train station we were supposed to take. Since I'm rich, I never really had to use trains, but Nagisa-kun said we'd get to the comic con that way. I was sitting on a bench waiting, and my paranoia settled in as I began thinking that maybe I was in the wrong train station, even though I checked for about five times that I was in the correct one.

"Yuuji-kun!" Nagisa-kun's soothing voice was heard, and I turned around to see him walking towards me, followed by a guy who I assumed was Akabane Karma-kun.

And... well, _shit_.

The guy was tall—taller than me and Nagisa-kun; taller than most people our age, actually—and he was lean, yet I could tell he was tough. He had red flaming hair—was it natural? It seemed like it was, but it still stood out—and an attractive face, with golden eyes that just shone with mischievousness. He had a mocking smirk in his face and I could tell, even during the ten seconds I'd seen him, that he was dangerous. Danger rolled off him in waves.

If Nagisa-kun was an angel, then he was most definitely a demon.

"Yo~" he greeted me, his voice smooth and low, his playful way of talking making him slur his words. It was terrifying. Was I the only one scared? "Yuuji-kun, right? I'm Akabane Karma."

"Akabane-kun, nice to meet you," I said, trying to act normal, hating the smirk on his face that seemed to tell me that he knew how much he was intimidating me. But I refused to show it.

"Guys, we should go get the train," Nagisa-kun chipped. He didn't seem to realize just how scary his boyfriend was. Exactly how did they end up together?!

"Sure. Lead the way, handsome~" Akabane-kun smiled, ruffling Nagisa-kun's hair. Jealousy instantly clouded my mind as I watched, but I couldn't help but notice something else. Akabane-kun's eyes and voice softened when talking to Nagisa-kun, and his smirk turned into a genuine smile. He might be dangerous, but it was clear as day to me by that simple interaction that he genuinely cared about Nagisa-kun. And judging by Nagisa-kun's blushing cheeks and soft smile, he was aware of this as well.

 _Just how am I supposed to compete with him?_

* * *

I learned something about Akabane Karma-kun that day.

He was absolutely _shameless_. He wasn't particularly affectionate, per se, but he had no issue in kissing Nagisa-kun whenever he felt like it, wherever he felt like it.

Right in front of me, more often than not.

I found myself wondering if Akabane-kun knew just how much it bothered me. I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but then those mocking golden eyes would land on me and he would send me that smirk and, yeah, he seemed to be perfectly aware of how I was feeling.

Akabane-kun seemed to be way too smart for his own good—well, not his own, exactly, but everyone else's.

Nagisa-kun didn't seem to mind though. He'd blush and scold him lightly, but his scolding wasn't too serious and it was easy to tell he wasn't really angry.

Still, Nagisa-kun always made sure I was included; talking to me, showing me things and explaining things from movies and comics that I didn't know. Akabane-kun didn't really seem to be particularly interested in my existence—or at least, that's how I felt—but other than randomly kissing Nagisa-kun, he really didn't exclude me. He even talked to me.

I guess he wasn't so bad, although I still felt very intimidated, even though I tried to hide it.

I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me when Nagisa-kun left to go to the bathroom, leaving me alone with Akabane-kun. I desperately hoped he'd act indifferent to me like he'd been all day, but apparently he had other plans as he smirked at me mockingly.

"So, you seem to have a thing for Nagisa, hm~?"

And that was the moment when I decided Akabane Karma-kun was no simple demon. He was the _devil_.

I swear, I could see the horns and the tail waving evilly at me as he waited for my answer.

"I-I..." I hated how weak my voice came out, but I honestly didn't know what to say. _He noticed it?_ I knew I wasn't the most subtle, but I was desperately hoping Akabane-kun wouldn't notice. Nagisa-kun definitely didn't. I guess karma's a bitch—literally. "H-How...?"

"Do I know? Dude," Akabane-kun looked at me exasperatedly, and I couldn't help but feel like a little kid that was ignorant about the world. How could he make me feel this insignificant? "You are the epitome of obvious. Even back at the school festival, I could tell you had a thing for Nagisa. Hell, I tried to get him to see how much you'd pay to go on a date with him," he snickered.

"You _what_ ," I breathed, shocked at how casually he told me that. _Yes_ , I thought to myself, _he's the devil, most definitely._

"It seemed like a good deal, and we weren't together back then, so it was more like a friend teasing another friend kinda thing," Akabane-kun shrugged. "Anyway," he smirked at me, his sharp canine showing and that made him only more intimidating. The guy smelled like trouble and Nagisa-kun was nowhere to keep him in control for now. "I could tell you liked Nagisa, even back then. Didn't think we'd see you again, though."

"I-It was just by chance!" I yelped.

"Nagisa's too dense to realize you like him," Akabane-kun continued lazily, ignoring my words. "He has no idea about your feelings for him. Unless you tell him, he'll never figure it out. Unfortunately for you, I've noticed, and well..." He smirked at me, golden eyes glowing as he stepped forward towards me, and he looked like the epitome of sadistic evil. "Guess we could say I'm not too fond on the idea of someone else trying to get Nagisa, yeah?"

"S-So, what're you gonna do about it?" I questioned, trying to sound brave yet failing miserably as I took a step back.

My mind was running wild. Akabane-kun was definitely dangerous, and I just defied him. I didn't know what he would do; was he going to hit me, stab me, kill me? I hated to admit it, but I was honestly scared. I felt like he'd take a knife out at any moment and stab me right in my heart with it.

Perhaps I should I've said I wouldn't go after Nagisa-kun, but I didn't want to give up on him—although I wouldn't get in the way of his relationship, not if Nagisa-kun was happy.

It was his laugh that brought me back from my terrified paranoia. "Hey, relax, rich boy! I'm not gonna do anything," he laughed, looking extremely amused. "You should've seen your face though!" He chuckled to himself, looking as if he had pulled a very good prank. He probably did, in his mind. "You really thought I'd hurt you?"

"I-I..."

"'Cause I'm not gonna lie; I'm totally capable," he smirked. "But it'd be too troublesome and for whatever reason, Nagisa likes you well enough to invite you to come here with us. So," he shrugged. "As long as you stay in the friendzone, it's all good."

"R-Really?"

"Yeah. Jeez, Yuuji-kun, get that expression off your face, will ya? You look like a scared mouse being the prey of a cat. I'm just playing around!"

I stared at Akabane-kun for a long moment, trying to process what just happened. So he was just... toying with me? And yet... it felt like his threat was genuine. He truly was terrifying. It seemed like he had a knack for manipulating people and humiliating them.

Really, how did Nagisa-kun end up dating this guy?

Nagisa-kun came back soon after and the three of us continued walking around the comic con. Despite my constant worries over Akabane-kun, I had a really fun time.

The only downside was that my heart ached seeing Nagisa-kun and Akabane-kun together. I couldn't help but wish I was in Akabane-kun's place—that I was the one Nagisa-kun was so happy with, instead of him—but I knew it wouldn't happen. As the day went on, I couldn't help but notice just how good they were together. They were so different, yet they seemed to complement each other. And they seemed to be genuinely happy.

 _I can't get in the way of that._

When the day ended, Nagisa-kun mentioned we could hang out again sometime, which I agreed almost instantly. Even if I couldn't be his boyfriend, I could at least be his friend. I would support him in whatever made him happy. Whatever moment I spent with him—as platonic as it could be—I would cherish it.

After all, if you love something, don't you have to let it go?

It'd be okay. As long as I could be part of Nagisa-kun's life, it would be enough.

* * *

 **And here it is! Fun fact: I wrote this on my phone during a 12-hour long plane flight. So I hope it's good enough, considering that. XD**

 **Sorry for the lame title, btw. I'm not good with titles. :/ Oh well. XD**

 **This time Yuuji did get to meet** ** _and_** **got confronted by Karma. Poor guy's so scared. Muahahaha. Ah, I had so much fun writing this. Poor Yuuji is in the friendzone forever~ How evil am I? :3**

 **Please leave a review, if possible! I'd appreciate it! :)**

 **Thank you so much for reading this!** **Hope you enjoyed it!**


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